Day 1 continued

So far my day has not gone quite to plan. My plan was to do a lot of preparing and organizing my workspace today. My 2 year old had other ideas. 

I am still positive in my thoughts and ideas going forward, it could just take a little longer than I would like.

My mother, who still lives in the UK offered some great advise via FaceTime earlier which I will definitely be taking on board. If only she was here to help co-ordinate. We make a great team and I hope that in the near future she will be able to join our family in the US. 

I need/want to be making my own cash and my husband recently piped up that maybe I should get an evening job. Now, I am not a lazy person, I am a hard working woman who keeps the house tidy, gets all the washing done and always has a hot meal on the table this is including taking and picking my son up from school and hardest of all looking after 2 year old little M.  How in his right mind does he think I can work a night job and still remain standing?? 

One of the problems is that I do such a bloody good job at being a housewife, I think he thinks its easy. But, in truth all you ladies out there know its very hard and very time consuming. At times I feel like I will explode, have a nervous breakdown or start smashing everything up. Honestly, I don't think men get it. Especially my man. 

I have made a rod for my own back really, because all this time I have done everything so well and alone, he expects it now. I also have the added factor that I came from another country, a very different country. I was 33 when I came here and at first I was caught up with meeting my new family, wedding plans etc. the novelty of America and I guess I was a novelty to other people too. 3 years later, that has gone. Honestly, I have been isolated having had a baby and busy doing my housewife job so well. It's hard to meet people on my wavelength at my age too as i dont feel the need or want to go bar hopping and i am so busy during the day with everyday chores and housekeeping when would i have time? When you live somewhere most of your life you have friends from school, college and university aswell as  neighbors and work colleagues. For me and i am sure many other immigrants its much harder right now.I think I am easy to get along with and recently having moved and with M getting a little older I am making more of an effort and branching out a lot more. To other people this may sound easy unless you have been in this situation.

I am not looking for sympathy, just understanding and this gives you a little bit of my background and who I am. Writing down your thoughts and feelings is great therapy for anyone you know, how ever big or small your thoughts, ideas or problems maybe. I maybe just one person going through these things but there must be more out there and it's nice not to feel alone in the world. 

Anyway, eventually on the way to pick my son up, the cute little monster M fell asleep. I needed a break, even if it really doesn't feel like a proper one and only for an hour- every little helps.