Bold colors

Cooking, cleaning and "Can I have a bath tonight please?"

II returned home this afternoon and managed to do a bit more organizing for the commencement of sewing after playgroup with M tomorrow morning in between cleaning up, potty training M, making J a snack, making dinner, laying the table, tidying up again, emptying the dishwasher, cooking dinner. My husband arrived home and after hellos, kisses and hugs all round, the first thing I found asking him was "could I have a bath tonight please?" 

I don't remember the last time I had a " proper" bath. I mean a "real" bath where I was able to wallow in the water alone with no interruptions, no little M coming in to splash in the water, no one shouting through the keyhole to come in, no quick in and out. 

Well, I am looking forward to it already. I may even be able to paint my nails;they look yucky right now, who knows?

Day 1 continued

So far my day has not gone quite to plan. My plan was to do a lot of preparing and organizing my workspace today. My 2 year old had other ideas. 

I am still positive in my thoughts and ideas going forward, it could just take a little longer than I would like.

My mother, who still lives in the UK offered some great advise via FaceTime earlier which I will definitely be taking on board. If only she was here to help co-ordinate. We make a great team and I hope that in the near future she will be able to join our family in the US. 

I need/want to be making my own cash and my husband recently piped up that maybe I should get an evening job. Now, I am not a lazy person, I am a hard working woman who keeps the house tidy, gets all the washing done and always has a hot meal on the table this is including taking and picking my son up from school and hardest of all looking after 2 year old little M.  How in his right mind does he think I can work a night job and still remain standing?? 

One of the problems is that I do such a bloody good job at being a housewife, I think he thinks its easy. But, in truth all you ladies out there know its very hard and very time consuming. At times I feel like I will explode, have a nervous breakdown or start smashing everything up. Honestly, I don't think men get it. Especially my man. 

I have made a rod for my own back really, because all this time I have done everything so well and alone, he expects it now. I also have the added factor that I came from another country, a very different country. I was 33 when I came here and at first I was caught up with meeting my new family, wedding plans etc. the novelty of America and I guess I was a novelty to other people too. 3 years later, that has gone. Honestly, I have been isolated having had a baby and busy doing my housewife job so well. It's hard to meet people on my wavelength at my age too as i dont feel the need or want to go bar hopping and i am so busy during the day with everyday chores and housekeeping when would i have time? When you live somewhere most of your life you have friends from school, college and university aswell as  neighbors and work colleagues. For me and i am sure many other immigrants its much harder right now.I think I am easy to get along with and recently having moved and with M getting a little older I am making more of an effort and branching out a lot more. To other people this may sound easy unless you have been in this situation.

I am not looking for sympathy, just understanding and this gives you a little bit of my background and who I am. Writing down your thoughts and feelings is great therapy for anyone you know, how ever big or small your thoughts, ideas or problems maybe. I maybe just one person going through these things but there must be more out there and it's nice not to feel alone in the world. 

Anyway, eventually on the way to pick my son up, the cute little monster M fell asleep. I needed a break, even if it really doesn't feel like a proper one and only for an hour- every little helps.

The beginning

And so in the darkest part of my mind, I have known what I wanted to do for a longtime. So why does it feel so hard to start?
On this very wet and miserable Monday morning I have decided to take a step forward. (About bloody time I say to myself)
I just want to do what I love. I want to do what I want, when I want. And for my own sanity I need to give these big ideas I have a go. Time is flying and sadly we are all getting older.
My name is Olivia. I am mother to one boy- he is my Gorgeous boy J..Always so laid back and easygoing. A kind and generously loving boy, who is now a teenager. Then many years later came my little princess M, always on the go and looking for mischief, she is 2 in two weeks. Ifeel the need to be there for my children unconditionally. Obviously this is both in very different ways with the big age gap, hence another reason I want to 'do my own thing'.
I studied Art and design and Photography many years ago at college and still feel like I must channel my creativity in the direction I want to go. I was a florist before moving to the USA 3 years ago from England. I came to the USA for love and married my now husband Shannan in January 2010.
America and American people are so different in every way than any other country I have been to, and now I live here. I have lived in Massachusetts for 3 years now and must say it has really taken me this long to start settling in. It's been hard. I miss my family and friends, and I miss the culture. I feel like 'the odd one out', my sense of humor, my values and my beliefs feel "different". My style is different and I wonder if that will ever change? Will I ever feel American?
Anyway, I must focus. I am not even sure how to blog? Will anyone be interested in my thoughts and feelings?
 teeny weenys is born...this will be clothing and fun accessories for your own teeny weenys.
Wish me luck. It's going to be a fun journey.